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Plan, Communicate, Cooperate
Even the happiest of families have problems. But the strongest families are those who recognize their problems, communicate their concerns, and cooperate in resolving their conflicts. In short, "happy" families fight stress by working on their problems together.
Recognize Your Family's Problems
Recognize problems such as poor communication, children's behavior, time pressure, money conflicts, unequal workloads, overwork, and guilt. Most families have one or more of these problems. Lack of time makes all other problems harder to handle. Single parents may have even less time than couples. When people feel rushed, their communication skills suffer and other problems get worse. Guilt, exhaustion, and anger can build.
Plan
To handle time, money and other pressures, learn to plan, make priority lists, and talk about feelings and needs. When you work on the budget, for instance, include older children to help them learn about money and planning. Bring the family together to plan each week's and year's schedules, including vacations and visits from friends or relatives. Schedule in time when you'll all have fun together.
Communicate
Set aside time each week or so for the whole family to get together and talk about concerns. Listen to what every member wants and take it seriously. Never refuse an invitation to talk by a child, sibling, or spouse. If it isn't a convenient time, ask if you can get back together later that day (and keep your appointment!). If it's an important issue, forget about convenience and make the time to talk.
Cooperate
No one should be responsible for the entire family. Discuss ways of sharing emotional, financial, and household tasks. If the stress of working long hours or an exhausting job leaves an adult with little time or energy for the family, discuss ways that the rest of the family can support him or her. If a child is struggling in school, other family members can help by assuming some of the child's chores or assisting with tutoring. The family can be the best place to be if everyone makes an effort.
Family Health
Getting exercise, eating well, limiting alcohol intake and other stress reducing habits can make a major difference in how well families get along. Whether single or coupled, everyone needs time alone. Couples also need to take time together, without children or other distractions. These habits are sometimes difficult to practice, but they can help keep stress manageable and make your family happier, healthier, and stronger.
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