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Self-Esteem
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Self-esteem is a personality trait defined as a general level of self-confidence, feelings of adequacy, and self-acceptance. Self-esteem appears to have two main roots: (1) direct experiences of competence and efficacy (2) social feedback.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Good Feelings about yourself
Self-esteem refers to the extent to which you expect to be accepted and valued by people who are important to you.
People with a healthy sense of self-esteem feel that the important people in their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of their way to ensure that they are safe and well.
People with low self-esteem feel that the important people in their lives do not accept them, do not care about them very much, and would not go out of their way to ensure their safety and well-being.
Families, communities, and ethnic and cultural groups vary in the criteria on which self-esteem is based. For example, some groups may emphasize physical appearance, and some may evaluate boys and girls differently. Stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination are also factors that may contribute to low self-esteem.
Self-esteem. Who needs it? Why?
Self-esteem is important to everyone. A positive self image gives you confidence in yourself and your abilities. You may succeed, you may fail, but you know you are a worthy person.
Everyone needs opportunities to experiment, succeed and fail - all in a safe, caring atmosphere. It's up to you to provide a positive environment whereby friends, family and even strangers can feel free to accept the challenge of new experiences and increase their self-esteem.
People with positive self-esteem feel good about themselves and are more effective and productive. They are proud of their accomplishments, act independently and assume responsibility. Those who have a good sense of self-esteem are more likely to be successful in school, their jobs and even their personal relationships.
How Can We Strengthen Self-Esteem?
Self-Esteem Is Important in a Child's Development
Most parents want their young children to have a healthy sense of self-esteem. That desire can also be seen in education--schools around the country include self-esteem among their goals. Many observers believe that low self-esteem lies at the bottom of many of society's problems.
Even though self-esteem has been studied for more than 100 years, specialists and educators continue to debate its precise nature and development. Nevertheless, they generally agree that parents and other adults who are important to children play a major role in laying a solid foundation for a child's development.
During their early years, young children's self-esteem is based largely on their perceptions of how the important adults in their lives judge them. The extent to which children believe they have the characteristics valued by the important adults and peers in their lives figures greatly in the development of self-esteem. For example, in families and communities that highly value athletic ability, children who excel in athletics are likely to have a high level of self-esteem, whereas children who are less athletic or who are criticized as being physically inept or clumsy are likely to suffer from low self-esteem.
How Can We Help Children Develop a Healthy Sense of Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is related to children's feelings of belonging to a group and being able to adequately function in their group.
Young children are unlikely to have their self-esteem strengthened from excessive praise or flattery.
Children become increasingly sensitive to the evaluations of their peers. Parents and teachers can help children learn to build healthy relationships with their peers.
When children develop stronger ties with their peers in school or around the neighborhood, they may begin to evaluate themselves differently from the way they were taught at home. Parents can help children by being clear about their own values and keeping the lines of communication open about experiences outside the home.
Children do not acquire self-esteem at once nor do they always feel good about themselves in every situation. A child may feel self-confident and accepted at home but not around the neighborhood or in a preschool class. Furthermore, as children interact with their peers or learn to function in school or some other place, they may feel accepted and liked one moment and feel different the next. Parents can help in these instances by reassuring children that they support and accept them even while others do not.
A child's sense of self-worth is more likely to deepen when adults respond to the child's interests and efforts with appreciation rather than just praise. For example, if a child shows interest in something you are doing, you might include the child in the activity. This way, you respond positively to the child's interest by treating it seriously.
Young children are more likely to benefit from tasks and activities that offer a real challenge than from those that are merely frivolous or fun. For example, you can involve a child in chores around the house, such as preparing meals or caring for pets, that stretch their abilities and give a child a sense of accomplishment.
Self-esteem is most likely to be fostered when children are esteemed by the adults who are important to them. To esteem children means to treat them respectfully, ask their views and opinions, take their views and opinions seriously, and give them meaningful and realistic feedback.
You can help a child develop and maintain healthy self-esteem by helping them cope with defeats, rather than emphasizing constant successes and triumphs. During times of disappointment or crisis, a child's weakened self-esteem can be strengthened when you let the child know that your love and support remain unchanged. When the crisis has passed, you can help the child reflect on what went wrong. The next time a crisis occurs, a child can use the knowledge gained from overcoming past difficulties to help cope with a new crisis. A child's sense of self-worth and self-confidence is not likely to deepen when adults deny that life has its ups and downs.